HEARTS

The heart knows no fear - it swells and fills and smiles at everything. It is the imagination which suffers from the nightmares that can cause the heart to break.

Shopping Centre Poetry 2

Carry yourself with pride - woman.
You have navigated your way through trials most people would be ruined by.

After years of abuse from my FIRST ex husband, yep. I've got two. (Oh my god). I have become an abuser myself. I see myself as a survivor, but the 'skills' I learned surviving, have made me a mini monster. I am a bitch. I am mean. I'm hard and cold and almost maniacal in my pursuit of injustice against me. I am a cobra, a venom spitting, fast moving hell worm. And I have to stop. :(

No matter how much trauma I have suffered, I cannot be this person who hurts others....my trauma is real, my suffering is real, the abuse I suffered is real. Its all real BUT it does not give me sanction to cause pain, to eke out revenge toward anyone. I have to get help.
My inner self is so beautiful....so vulnerable and kind, so absolutely lovely that I need to sto stop hiding behind the snaky saviour I invented, and let that part of me shine.
Surviving trauma is more than not dying of it....its not changing because of it.