It's ridiculous that this still matters to me. I should be above such nonsense by now, surely? I'm no longer young. And youth is where beauty dwells, right? Oh, that just sounds so unfair! Can't an older woman be sexy? Can't she still turn heads? No.. Not in MY world. In MY world women look at me....probably because I am VERY conscious of my clothes and the way I look, and have great taste, but men? Nope. Not ONE sideways glance. So I feel as though my value as a sensual, sexual being is gone. Time for spending my time baking, calling young people 'dear' and wearing fluffy slippers. But that's NOT who I am inside....inside I am full of magical, dark energy, fire and youthful hunger. Surely my outside isn't SO degraded? But that lack of positive attention from men makes me feel as though I can't feel free to be flirtatious. That if I do I will look stupid, desperate and slightly creepy. What is the answer for those of us older than 25? Is that why so many older women take up golf? Hitting stuff MIGHT actually help......
I just really wish it was different and I could feel beautiful again.
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A young [21] co-worker told me that reading this post made her sad. Not necessarily for me, but for the future she might see ahead for her own beautiful self. Something MUST change - either in my own [perhaps skewed] perception of the world, or in the world itself.
ReplyDeleteI think I have spoken with you about this subject before and it really annoys me. Not the fact that you feel the need to be seen as beautiful, that seems natural for everyone (even guys to a certain extent). But the need to be validated by strangers is crazy.
ReplyDeleteThe only guys who outwardly gawk at women are workmen, bogans or idiots(and they only look for flesh not beauty).
As a more self conscious person , Im almost afraid to look at attractive women, because I don't look like an underwear model I would be seen as a perv and it would be a form of violation.
Im afraid the world will never change, you can never change society so much as to alter our instincts as animals. The problem is, as long as there is gender there will be sexism. Just more proof that the whole process of sex is the greatest crime against humanity and the biggest hurdle in achieving what we want as intelligent entities.
But it is what it is....we are all just constructs within another construct....and you can rail against it but must still live within it or die. I KNOW it's wrong....I know our skin is just surface, but if you have surface value you have currency enough to move forward in whichever direction you desire. However an older woman has so little currency that she is ultimately only of worth to a few. Sadly, not being of worth to more than a few becomes an impediment to any dreams you may still have. Therefore following your dreams becomes increasingly harder as you earn more creases. You lose confidence at every level...that's what the real sadness is.
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